Dear Eric,

To my readers, this post isn't really for you - it's for me.  As you may know, I've been going through some personal stuff lately.  Things came to a head last night and my relationship of almost 14 years ended.  I don't really know what else to do except to write about it so flip right past this post if you're not interested in personal musings that have nothing to do with reading and a lot to do with angst.



Dear Eric,

It's 6 am and I'm sitting here before the kids get up because I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I either have nightmares, or I dream about how things used to be.  I can't decide which is worse.   Poor Ben must have a sixth sense because he climbed into bed with me around 2 am and just put his little arm around me.  I'm sitting here in the dark because I just don't know what to do with myself.  I can't read - I re-read the same paragraph ten times because I can't focus.  I don't feel like watching tv, the kids aren't awake to distract me. 

So I went on Facebook and changed my status to "It's complicated." I suppose I technically should have put "single" but I just can't bring myself to do it yet.  I see you've deactivated your account.  Is it because you can't deal with what people will say?  You don't want the questions and comments?  Well, I don't want them either, but it's going to happen sooner or later whether you want it to or not.

As I'm sitting here, I'm looking at those pictures on the wall of the two of us from my mom's wedding.  I have to take those down.  I can't bear to keep looking at them.  Looking at anything here is hard.  You get the easy part - you get to move out and get a clean slate.  I get to stay here with all the reminders of our 13 years together.  Everywhere I look.

God, how I want to hate you.  I think about all the things that have been wrong with us for so long and I feel like I should be so angry with you.  I wish I were angry with you because this would be so much easier if I hated you.  I know some of the blame is mine, but I feel like you've been dishonest for me for a very long time.  Much longer than the last couple of months - maybe years.  Maybe you just weren't honest with yourself, either....  I don't know.  I feel like, in a way, maybe I've wasted a lot of time with someone who never really wanted to be here in the first place. 

I have this urge to become the psycho clingy ex who is constantly calling and texting you.  I want so badly to have some kind of a connection with you.  I had to fight the urge to text you at 2 am to tell you that I love you.  I have to fight the urge right now to text you Good Morning so it will be there when you wake up.  But I'm not going to.  I told you last night, I'm done begging you to stay.  I can't force something that's not there.  So, I won't be contacting you unless it's about the kids.  I won't be texting you, I won't be calling you, I won't be messaging you on Facebook, tagging you in status updates or anything else.  This post is the last you'll be hearing from me - if you even ever read it.  You wanted to end things and have some time so that's what I'll give you.

If you miss me at all and feel like you need to talk, you can be the one to initiate the conversation.  I'm not going to hold my breath, though.  I know how hard it is for you to talk. 

If or when you realize the mistake you're making, feel free to talk to me about it.  But just know that things can never go back to how they were.  There will be no picking up where we left off.  There can only be starting over from the beginning. 

Most of all, right now, I'm just hurt.  It hurts to know that I wasn't worth it to you to put in some work.  You know I was willing to do whatever I could to change things and work on our relationship but you weren't willing to do the same.  It's easier for you to walk away and take some time than to make a real effort, I get that.  But what's worse is that you never really wanted to make the effort in the first place. 

There are two things that really do make me angry, though.  First, you kept stringing me along.  I think you knew before we went on that trip that you wanted to end things but you didn't have the guts to come out and say it.  You felt bad and took the cowardly way out.  You should have just told me then instead of giving me this false hope.  Second, the way you've gone about this whole thing - you know what I'm talking about.  No matter how hard it is for you to talk, I deserve better than that.  You don't want to see me cry?  Too bad.  Be a man and deal with the consequences of your actions. 

But like I told you last night, I'm done crying for now.  I'm hurt, I'm sad, I feel defeated and deflated and depressed.  But I can't cry over you anymore.  All I can do now is try to figure out how to move on and learn to live for myself instead of for us.

In the end, I hope you're happy.  I don't mean that sarcastically.  I honestly hope you find happiness.  I'm just very very sad that it's not with me. 

I love you.

Peanut

Boston Charity Book Giveaway

We are helping to spread the word about  this amazing book giveaway that was created to aid the victims and families of the 2013 Boston Marathon Attack. Many best-selling authors have donated books  in response to this cause. The books are grouped into bundle packs and a winner will be selected randomly through Rafflecopter for each bundle. Visit the book giveaway site for more details and how to enter.

If you do not want to enter to win a bundle, please feel free to make a donation using this link. It will take you directly to the organization donation site.

The auction will run from April 21-April 30th.

Book Bundle #1

In the Name of Love

SIGNED copies of:

Hopeless by Colleen Hoover

Easy by Tammara Webber

Fallen Too Far & Never Too Far by Abbi Glines

FATE by Elizabeth Reyes

CRUSH by Nicole Williams

Disastrous by EL Montes

Book Bundle #2

Everybody Needs Somebody to Love

SIGNED copies of:

Slammed & Point of Retreat by Colleen Hoover

What a Boy Wants, What a Boy Needs and Measuring Up by Nyrae Dawn

Sleep My Child by Eyvonna Rains
ebooks: Shark Bait & The Other Fish in the Sea by Jenn Cooksey

Book Bundle #3

Just the Way You Are 

SIGNED copies of:

Suddenly Royal by Nichole Chase

Inhale Exhale by Sarah Ross

Destined to Change by Lisa Harley

Music of the Heart by Katie Ashley

Wide Awake by Shelly Crane

Book Bundle #4

I Walk the Line

SIGNED copies of:

The Thoughtless Series by SC Stephens

Walking Disaster by Jamie McGuire
Until I Break by M. Leighton-ARC

Collide by Gail McHugh

Book Bundle #5

Stand By Me

SIGNED copies of:

Love Unscripted & Love Unrehearsed by Tina Reber

Collide by Gail McHugh

Love Em’ or Leave Em’ by Angie Stanton

On The Island byTracey Garvis-Graves

Book Bundle #6

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

SIGNED Copies of:

Poughkeepsie by Debra Anastasia

Naked, All In by Raine Miller

Collide by Gail McHugh

Signed Wreck Me, ebook Restore Me by JL Mac

Book Bundle #7

Superstition

SIGNED copies of:

Awaken and Avenged by Sarah Ross

Darkride and Crossfire by Laura Bradley Rede

Book Bundle #8

Whole Lotta Love

 SIGNED copies of:

Fall Guy & Perfectly Unmatched by Liz Reinhardt

Lengths & Depths by Steph Campbell

Charade & Freeing Carter by Nyrae Dawn

Destined to Change by Lisa Harley

A Prior Engagement by SL Scott

Book Bundle #9

Maybe I'm Amazed

SIGNED copies of:

A Hidden Fire by Elizabeth Hunter

Inescapable, Intuition, Indebted and Incendiary by Amy Bartol

Book Bundle #10

Ain't Too Proud to Beg

SIGNED copies of:

The Proposition and The Proposal by Katie Ashley

Chocolate Lovers Series by Tara Sivec

His Perfect Passion and The Undoing of a Libertine by Raine Miller

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Spotlight and Excerpt: Shadow of Wrath by L.W. Patricks

Series: Sins of the 7, #1

Publication Date: March 13, 2013

Young Adult Dystopian

Shadow of Wrath by L.W. Patricks

Excerpt

While other kids his age suffered from their fair shares of worries -- failure, bullies, being ridiculed -- the boy living on the streets worried about dying alone with an empty stomach in a filthy alleyway; rotting, unnoticed and uncared for.

Today was one of those days he believed he was going to die.

The boy survived as a vagrant throughout the years, a wandering bastard to the streets, drifting from one place to the next, and during this time he learned that starvation had a way of eroding his flesh and bones and altering the chemical balance of his mind. Perhaps the worst part about being hungry was that it took a visible toll on the boy, stealing away what little image of strength he had. It made the boy look -- and feel -- desperate and weak, and because the boy had no one in his life to look out for him, the appearance of weakness made him an easy target; it made him prey.

The strange men in suits were quick to ambush him. They had a ravenous look in their eyes that the boy immediately found unsettling. They were like wolves in human skin and the boy had lived long enough on the streets to know when he was being hunted.

About the Book:

In the Arena, you're either a killer or a victim.

If survival meant murdering an innocent person in cold blood every week, could you do it? Are you able to stick the knife into your opponent's heart while they look at you with fear in their eyes? Life in the Arena turns everyone into sinners.

A homeless boy is kidnapped from the streets and finds himself imprisoned in a far more horrifying place: The Arena, a place where teenage boys fight to the death for the pleasure of various lowlifes.

The Arena is the brainchild of Ryker, an ex-convict addicted to alcohol, gladiatorial-esque combats, and money. When not devising new ways for boys to kill each other, he’s ruling his small empire with a ruthless fist, rewarding his guards with sex slaves and punishing those who oppose him with barbaric executions.

Renamed Dog, the boy from the street proves to be an excellent fighter and finds himself surviving week after week, but as he leaves a trail of bodies in his wake, the ghosts of slain boys haunt him and the violence threatens to wake a beast inside him.

Allegra, a slave girl in the Arena and a victim of Ryker's constant abuse, is his only key to salvation. She has lost everything already -- her family, her innocence, and her dignity -- while her will to live hangs on by a thin thread. Can she save Dog's humanity before she too succumbs to the horrors of the Arena?

Seeking to defy Ryker as Dog rises to power as his champion, the stage is set for something to give in this murderous world of young combatants.

A tale about survival, tragedy, and human perseverance, the Complete SHADOW OF WRATH is the first book in the Sins of the 7 series. 

About the Author:

L.W. Patricks is the author of SHADOW OF WRATH and the literary architect behind the upcoming Sins of the 7 series with his second book: AWAKE THE GHOSTS to be published late 2013.

His short fiction works has been published by Crow Toes Quarterly Magazine, Fiction and Verse literary magazine, and upcoming Denizens of the Dark. He enjoys writing contemporary fantasy with an emphasis on creating urban mythology for his stories.

Though he calls Toronto his home, L.W. Patricks has a passion for exploration and has travelled all over the world including Germany, Netherlands, Italy, France, Spain, Czech Republic, Austria, United Kingdom, Thailand, Hong Kong, Cambodia just to name a few. His diverse experience amongst other cultures provides inspiration for his stories.

He currently lives in Toronto with his wife where he enjoys the scorching summer days and the icy winter nights while masquerading as a Word Samurai. He claims to be the offspring of a typewriting chimp and a literary ninja.

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Twitter

This post is a part of a promotional blog tour organized by Xpresso Book Tours.  Click the banner above to see the entire list of blogs participating.  You'll find reviews of the book, more excerpts, interviews and guest posts by the author.

You can also enter to win the tour grand prize just for reading!   Enter below to win a $25 Amazon gift card!

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Personal Stuff

Hello, Readers!

I usually keep my personal life out of my blogger life, but today the one has encroached upon the other.  I'm dealing with some very major, life-changing personal stuff right now.  I'm not going to go into details right now but my personal life has to take precedence over my online one right now. 

What that means is that I will be stepping back from blogging for a while.  I have quite a few things on my calendar for the next couple of months and I will continue to meet my obligations, but I will not be accepting any new books for review, any new promotional requests of any kind, and I will not be posting any of those "extras" like weekly memes, the New Releases and Trailer Tuesday posts or any others.  The only posts you'll be seeing here in the forseeable future will be those that I had already committed to.

I've gained a lot of followers since I started blogging last year and I appreciate every one of you.  Once things get settled for me I plan on picking up where I left off.  I hope you all will stick with me.

Thanks so much for reading and following Cherie Reads!

Happy Reading!

Cover Reveal: The Return by Nicole R. Taylor

I have another amazing cover for you all today!  This one was designed by Mae I Design, the designer for some of my very favorite covers recently. 

The Return 

by Nicole R. Taylor

Series: The Witch Hunter Saga #2

Expected Publication: June 18, 2013
Age/Genre: New Adult Paranormal/Urban Fantasy

 I've wandered my afterlife believing that I was the monster my maker told me I was. It was the only thing I knew. Not even my brother, Sam, could convince me otherwise.
Not until her. Not until Aya. She walked into my life like a hurricane of destruction and nothing would ever be the same again. None of us could have known what would happen next. What fate had in store...
I finally grew a heart, only to have it ripped out.
Now, I will stop at nothing for revenge.
Zac's afterlife is just going from bad to worse. He grew a heart only to have it torn out by the founding vampire, Arturius.
Nobody is sure what he wants, but Zac doesn't want to know. He's more interested in finding a way to end him for good. But, it might just be that he's after Gabby, who's harbouring a secret of her own, one that Arturius would do anything for.
Aya's past will come back to haunt Zac in ways he never thought possible and what he finds out will alter everything he ever knew about her. He will uncover a deadly secret that should have remained buried. A secret Aya has fought to keep for thousands of years. One she has killed for.
In the end, who's secrets will betray them to the one man who wants them all dead? Aya's or Zac's?
They'll need to figure it out sooner rather than later, because death is not an option.

About the Author

Nicole R. Taylor is an Australian born paranormal, fantasy and contemporary fiction author. She is a graduate of the University of Ballarat Professional Writing and Editing programme and is a former music memorabilia sales person and grocery merchandiser.

She currently lives in Ballarat, Victoria, Australia with a two year old rescue cat named, Burger. She enjoys reading, writing (of course!),  traveling and a little too much chocolate. One day she hopes to sky dive, but has to work up the courage first.

The first in her new paranormal fantasy series, The Witch Hunter Saga is available in e-edition and print from March 20th 2013

Website | Goodreads | Facebook | Twitter

Cover Reveal: This is Forever by S.A. Price

Did it get you curious? Winter is the very sexy bassist for the band 13 Shades of Red, and his book, THIS IS FOREVER will be releasing December 2013. Wanna see the cover?

Now isn’t that just sexy? From now till December if you check out some of your favorite blogs that are rocking the mini graphic on the side column, we will be giving some teasers, excerpts and interviews about the book, on the 10^th of the month.

Believe me; it really is going to be a Long Hard Winter. *wink*

And now… for a sexy sneak peek at THIS IS FOREVER…(Does contain strong language)

Seeing Lola after eight months was a fucking kick in the teeth. She had changed her hair, it was purple with black streaks, and she was wearing one fucker of an outfit. Platform Mary Jane’s, her signature, purple torn fishnet thigh highs with garters that ended in bows with skulls on them, micro mini in black satin with a lace trim. She had tripled up on her belts, her little baby tee molding to her torso like a second skin. It was razor cut in places, showing skin and the purple of her lace bra. Her arms warmers were knitted with little skulls on them. He was pretty sure she wasn’t wearing underwear also, the girl just loved to shock. Dare he think it was for his benefit? He wasn’t sure he even saw her, thinking he was dreaming the perfection before him.




But dreams don’t blow you off… at least his didn’t. His dreams, her especially, blew him. When dreams blew you off, those were called nightmares, and those sucked. Sucked like life was sucking right now. She had walked in with the rest of her band, greeted everyone but him, her gaze lingering a little too long on Colin, Rhys’ little brother, but then moved on as she kissed cheeks and hugged people.



 He had to adjust his groin, discreetly of course, when she and Saffron hugged and snuggled. Apparently over the past several months Saffron and Lola had become quite the BFF, with Lola staying at Saffron’s place in New York when she had to go in for several shoots and meetings with her record company. Rhys had teased him about getting face timed and seeing both of them in little booty shorts and white tank tops… but he didn’t think they were that close.



And worse, he didn’t think seeing her all snuggly with Saffron would illicit the images rolling through his head. Not that Saffron wasn’t hot, but he just didn’t dig his best friend’s girl like that.  He grabbed a tootsie pop and unwrapped it, sticking the thick ball into his mouth. He watched her move from person to person, but never to him.



What. The. Fuck.



When everyone sat down, she sat at the other end, didn’t even bother to look at him. He went through dinner in a blur, his anger getting to him more and more. What the fuck was going on? He was beginning to feel like he was invisible. Maybe it was a nightmare?



When she got up and went to the bathroom, he followed, after exchanging a meaningful look with Rhys.



“So you’re just not going to say anything to me?” he said as he caught her coming out of the bathroom.



She looked at him and then sighed. “I didn’t want a public thing to happen.”



Public thing?





She looked him up and down. “I don’t know if I’m ready to say hi like I want to.”



Winter rolled his eyes. “So you can wrap yourself around Saffron, eye Colin up like he’s a steak, which by the way he’s not even eighteen yet, eww,” he ticked off on his fingers, “Yet you can’t even just turn and wave at me?”



Lola shook her head. “It’s not what I wanted. And Colin is going to be very popular…”



“You just didn’t wanna talk to me at all?” he asked, thoroughly confused. She was the one that pushed for the tour, and by all accounts she didn’t have issue with their past. It was what gave him hope.



She moved closer and shook her head. “That’s not it.”



“Then what’s it?” he bit out, his hands clenched at his sides. Gods, only she could infuriate him like this. Fuck she smelled good. All honey and warm clover… no one smelled like Lola.



Her voice lowered. “Do you like my outfit Winter?”



He growled. Fuck yes he liked her outfit. Loved. Wanted it crumpled on the floor of his bedroom. Wanted to peel it from her slowly, kissing every inch of skin he exposed.



She reached for him, her fingers tugging him closer by the belt loops of his jeans. “Good. You’re supposed to. You don’t get anything from me Winter Tulane. No greeting, no, little wave, no explanation. Eat your heart out baby.”



She got closer, her lips just against his, a slight almost imperceptible move of the hoop through the middle of his lip and then she was gone, back towards the party, her ass shaking with a sashay that had blood rushing from every place in his body to his cock. Fuck. What the hell was going on?



“Hey Lo,” he called after her. She gave him the finger and kept walking.



Game on. Game fucking on, he thought as he followed her back into the room. Confusion didn’t even convey how he was feeling about what happened, but holy fuck the signals she was throwing off were so convoluted he didn’t know if he should fist pump for getting her so close to him or brood over her words.

Like? Add it to your TBR pile at GOODREADS: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17672271-this-is-forever

Books before this: Giving Up the Ghost (#1):

You Burn Me(Prequel/ Bridge book):

Wanna Win something awesome? Well easy peasy!

Add THIS IS FOREVER to your TBR pile on goodreads and you will be entered to win:



A Merch Package: t-shirt, Poster, Pin, Card, Door hanger, tote bag, and Keychain, a 25$ GC to Amazon.com, a Print copy of Giving Up the Ghost with a special short story from Saffron’s past and a Print copy of You Burn Me.



Book MUST be ADDED between April 19 and May 1st.



Winner will Be announced on May 4th!

And a HUGE thank you to everyone that Helped make this Cover reveal Amazing!

Excerpt and Giveaway for Damaged by H.M. Ward

Published by Laree Bailey Press

Publication Date: April 6, 2013

New Adult Contemporary Romance

Damaged by H.M. Ward

Excerpt

He watches me as I try to crank the engine. It doesn’t start. It doesn’t catch. I look at the little gauges and notice the battery.  He’s standing next to me now. “So, you’re a mechanic?”

I shake my head, “I just pretend to be. It makes for more interesting evenings.” I grin at him, not sure what’s come over me. I never talk random guys, but it’s not like he’s random anymore, right? Hot guy’s face falls and I realize that he believes me. “I’m just kidding. I know a little about cars. For instance, I know this one isn’t going anywhere tonight.”

“And why’s that?”

“Your alternator’s dead. Either that or you shoved a hamster up the tailpipe—” My face falls. I wonder if he did something stupid. Guys do all sorts of stupid things to talk to girls. I get out of his car and slam the door. Then, I tilt my head and cross my arms over my chest. “Tell me that that isn’t the reason the car won’t start.”

He laughs and presses his hand to his chest, shocked that I’d say such a thing. “No, I didn’t do anything like that! And correct me if I’m wrong, but you were the one who came onto me first. I didn’t get here early and sabotage my own car just so I could meet a girl, who I didn’t know was coming.” The way he smiles is contagious. He runs his hands through his dark hair, like he wishes he could say more, but he doesn’t. The corners of his mouth curve and he gives me a look that makes tingles slip over my skin.

I step toward him, smiling too wide. “I did not come onto you!”

“You did. Right back in there.” He points toward the restaurant. His face is serious, all smooth features and big blue eyes. “You sat at my table and made me very uncomfortable. I haven’t had such a beautiful woman overtly hit on my like that before. It was quite embarrassing.”

My smile is making it hard for my mouth to hang open in shock. It keeps opening and then my grin snaps my lips shut. “I did not!” I know he’s teasing me, but I can’t stop. I don’t want it to stop and I realize that I’m actually laughing.

His arms are folded over his chest. He taps a finger to his lip like he’s remembering. “You did. You ordered wine and just assumed that I’d put out. Really Sidney, you’ll have to learn to control yourself a little better from now on.” He looks at me out of the corner of his eye, as he glances at his car.

I know he’s baiting me, but I can’t ignore him. I can’t walk away and I don’t want to. He smiles at me with those wicked lips. It makes me want to kiss him, hard. I change tactics. I want to throw him so far off balance that he falls over. I step in front of him and look up at him from under my lashes. “Okay, you caught me. I like you. I want you. I can’t keep my hands off of you. But tell me this, beautiful man; why should I bother controlling myself when I can tell that you want me so much?” Slowly, I step closer to him. Our bodies are a breath apart as I look up into his eyes.

He’s smiling and manages to say, “You shouldn’t.” He watches me, waiting to see what I’ll do. I feel my heart pounding. His eyes drift to my lips and back to my eyes. Every inch of my body flickers to life. I want to feel his hands on me. I want his lips on my mouth. From that look in his eye, I know he wants it too.

I lean in closer, teasing him. I feel his breath on my lips. His scent fills my head and I breath him in. “Are you always this irresistible?”

“Are you always this coy? Do you just flirt, leaving your lips way too close to a man that desperately wants to kiss you?”

Book Description:

A new adult romance novel by New York Times & USA Today Bestselling Author H.M. Ward

Life sucks. And, as soon as Sidney picks up the pieces something always knocks her back onto her butt. It's never pretty, but this time is different. This time pretty isn't even the right word.

Peter is the personification of perfection. It's like he fell off his angel perch in purgatory, because let's face it--any guy that hot has got to be naughty. He was probably sent here to ruin her life.

Peter is beyond beautiful with his sexy blue eyes, dark hair, and toned body. Add in his charming wit and Peter is everything Sidney ever wanted in a man, but when things get hot and heavy Peter shows her the door. Sidney takes the walk of shame and leaves. It's the end of the worst blind date ever. Her life couldn't possibly reach higher levels of suckage, but it does.

The next morning everything comes crashing down. The insanely hot guy from last night, the one that saw her half naked, is teaching at the front of the class room.

Genre:  New Adult Romance Novel, approx. 325 pages

About the Author

NEW YORK TIMES & USA TODAY Bestselling author H.M. Ward is a native New Yorker living in Texas. Ward was featured in the Washington Post for her debut novel Demon Kissed. Romance series by H.M. Ward include Secrets, Scandalous, The Arrangement, and The Secret Life of Trystan Scott. 

Facebook Author Page | Twitter | Blog | Facebook Book Page

I have two amazing giveaways to share with you!   

First, just for fans of Cherie Reads, enter to win an ebook copy of Damaged.  The winner will receive a Smashwords code to download the book for free in the format of their choice.

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Also, the author is hosting her own giveaway to celebrate the release of Damaged!  You can enter to win a Kindle Fire Prize Pack valued at $230!  

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This post is a part of a promotional event organized by AToMR Tours.